Thurston has fled the nest

The summer holidays didn’t really leave me with any time for keeping up to date with the blog so there’s lots of stuff to catch up on. The main piece of news is that Thurston is now a fully functioning full-time school boy!
Back in September we went shopping for school uniform which was a trial in itself as Thurston is roughly the size of a small 2 year old. All his uniform, satchel and lunchbox was ready to go, I just wasn’t entirely convinced that he was! After having 6 weeks away from nursery, it would be fair to say that Thurston had completely forgotten that he ever had to do anything independent from me! To be honest, he’d been a bit of a pain for a lot of the summer. He was fantastic when we kept busy, but the fluctuating weather meant that a lot of the time was spent indoors which was fairly stressful. By the time the new term started, I was more than ready to share the load!

However, the logistics of Thurston starting school were complicated to say the least. My two older children already attend two separate schools due to their ages. Louis is already at junior school and Zeke is in his last year of infant school. I looked into sending Thurston to Zeke’s school but they were very uncooperative when it came to his special needs, and made me feel like it would be a hassle for them to have him. Considering the school where he attended nursery were practically biting my hand off to take him, it seemed like a no-brainer where he should go. I’m not willing to compromise on the way he needs to be looked after and I decided to send him to the school where he was wanted. This meant that I now had the challenge of getting 3 children to 3 schools by 8:50am every day. Thurston’s school is a 35 minute walk away or a 6-7 minute drive plus finding a parking space. I do not drive as yet, however even if I did, it is actually not even possible to do all 3 kids in the car. I recently found this out when Alex had a stomach bug and my mum (my lovely contingency plan) had food poisoning on the same day. My lovely dad stepped in to help but didn’t know where each child’s classroom was so he drove me around to pick them up. Zeke finishes at 3pm, so we got him, hopped in the car and went to get Thurston who finishes at 3:10pm. I was 4 minutes late which was enough to send him into a whack-attack and by the time I arrived he was laying on the floor blubbing away, and his teachers looked fairly bedraggled too! I strapped him into the car seat and got back into the car to drive back and get Louis who finished at 3:15pm so he was the last child in the entire school waiting for a parent. I didn’t feel quite as bad about that as Louis loves a drama and a spot of guilt-tripping, so he was quite thrilled with the turn of events!!

All of this proved to me what I already knew, that the school run for our family is literally impossible for one person, it is a 2 man job. I don’t like to rely on family help as they are my kids and I want to do things myself as much as possible. I call my family when I’m stuck and need a hand, but I didn’t want them to be in charge of school runs and childcare on a daily basis. Alex therefore has had to take a cut in his hours and now works 9:30-2:30 so that he can take and collect Thurston every day. Obviously, this means even less money, which is tricky, but for us, it really is the only option. I have had people in the past make snide comments about me receiving Carer’s Allowance and Thurston receiving DLA, but I think people often don’t realise the financial sacrifices that need to be made to ensure a kid with special needs gets the care that they need. I would have loved nothing more than to take my kids to school together and say goodbye at the school gates like the other mums, but Thurston’s needs had to take priority, which means that we have lost a significant amount of earnings, as well as me losing out on important parts of Thurston’s life.

It is lovely for Alex to take Thurston to school and pick him up every day, but I do feel a bit detached from him now. I was so used to doing absolutely everything for him and now, I don’t even do the basics anymore. He even has his Speech Therapist go to school, so his one-to-one is doing his therapy with him. I know I sound like a crazy, over-protective mum, but I’m honestly a little bit jealous of his one-to-one!! He does things for her, he has never done for me. She said he can spell his name in magnets, she even got him to make a pizza! He has recently started talking in little sentences every so often, and people are telling me how well he must be doing at school to have come on so quickly. What about the 4 years I was taking him to 3 therapy appointments every week and taking him to Makaton courses???! Don’t I deserve even a tiny scrap of credit?! The final straw came the other day when I said to him “do you love mummy?” (usually greeted with a firm “oh yes”) only to be slapped in the face with “no, I love Mrs W!”. That one hurt.

I have become secretly pleased and ever so slightly smug when Thurston has little acts of defiance at school. Most mums would be happy to hear that their child has learnt 3 phonics sounds especially a child with special needs. However, I have become so warped with the situation that I am much happier when I hear that he has thrown a big tub of magnets over the carpet or has done a massive fart while they have story time. They are small but significant victories for me!

Of course, in my right mind, I am absolutely thrilled that Thurston has settled in so well to his new school, and the transition was a hell of a lot smoother than I had anticipated. The school could not be more helpful or understanding of  Thurston and his needs, and are actually managing to give him an education at the same time as covering his care and social needs, which is remarkable. It is the best school we could have chosen for him and I know he will do well there, and that it was worth all the financial and emotional sacrifices. It would just be nice if every once in a while he had a little cry that he missed me, just for my mum-ego!!

 

Summer and Broccoli

Last Friday, my very nice husband Alex (here is his blog www.neveranythingon.wordpress.com) turned 32. Last year when he turned 31, he had come out of hospital a day earlier from his 1st spinal surgery. Since then he has had a day surgery steroid epidural, and this January, he had a major operation to fuse his spine with various pieces of metal and donated bone. I’m so happy with how well he’s done from last birthday to this birthday, he really deserves some recognition for being able to keep smiling, hardly ever complaining and most of all, managing to still do as much as possible with all of the children while he was in so much pain. I’m not sure I could have done it! We celebrated with an Olympic themed party, the opening ceremony, an Indian takeaway and a very large homemade chocolate cake (recipe from The Primrose Bakery Cookbook!). Luckily, Thurston slept through the whole thing so we had a lovely time with the older children which was much needed.

The whole time Alex was laid up with his back, he had been planning to have a tattoo done of the Eiffel Tower. It means such a lot to us as we spent our honeymoon in Paris almost 7 years ago, and it was one of the only holidays we had as a couple without children. The other one was a completely bizarre trip to Cologne in Germany with a very strange family!! Paris was incredible and has such lovely memories for us, I’m hoping to take the children there next year when I (reluctantly) turn 30! A couple of weeks ago, Alex finally had his tattoo done. He booked in with our good friend Dan Frye in his amazing tattoo studio in Margate (www.signsoftime.co.uk), and he did a fantastic job! I took the kids for lunch with some more lovely friends and my sister while he had it done, and he looked so happy when he came and joined us. It might sound silly to be so excited over a tattoo, but when you’ve been forced to be in pain and have some fairly gruesome scars to show for it, I think it’s a really great feeling when you can finally choose what you actually want on your body!

Since it is now the Summer holidays, we have been fairly busy, since every mum knows that the key to surviving the school holidays is “DO NOT STAY IN THE HOUSE!”. I took the children to the brand new Tracey Emin exhibition at the Turner Contemporary in Margate which we completely loved. I am a massive Tracey Emin fan anyway being a Margate-girl myself and it is so exciting that she has put together this exhibition just for our little town. Thurston actually slept the entire time which was a bit disappointing as he has enjoyed all our previous trips to the gallery. I know a lot of people get very nervous about taking Autistic children to art galleries or museums, but I would strongly encourage people to give it a try, as you might be pleasantly surprised. Thurston likes any exhibits with video installations, and was really interested in Turner’s paintings of volcanoes and even commented that they looked “hot”! A lot of galleries and museums are free entry or simply ask for a donation, so you are not losing anything by giving it a go.

Since we do live by the seaside, a lot of our Summer holidays is based on the beach. From June until September, my house is covered with a layer of sand that I never seem to be able to get rid of completely! At the moment, I would have to admit that going to the beach is not something I am very confident with doing by myself just yet. Thurston is completely inspired by the beach which is wonderful, but also means that he will see that he has complete freedom and no boundaries, and make a run for it, whether it is to the next beach on the coastline or through the water to France. He takes up so much of my energy and attention at the beach that it makes it really difficult for me to focus on my other 2 children. In the school holidays, I do struggle with a little bit of guilt at not being able to divide my time fairly among them and I think they must find it very frustrating too. Luckily for me, last week a friend of mine was renting a beach hut near my house with her family and invited me to join them for a day. I took the kids down by myself as Alex was working, and I’m so glad I did as the kids had the best time. We dumped our stuff at the hut and the kids made a beeline straight for the unusually warm water. Thurston was in his element splashing in the water and was so brave walking into water as deep as his chest. Louis and Zeke played with my friends’ children and their Dad who was so incredibly helpful pulling them around in an inflatable boat singing the theme song from “Jake and the Neverland Pirates”. Thurston even sat in the boat for a while, and was so delighted, I wish I could have captured the look on his little face. The children were so well looked after that I felt more than happy leaving them to play while I went back to the hut to warm Thurston up. It was a perfect Summery day!

Even though it is the holidays, Thurston’s therapy is still ongoing. He graduated his little ‘school starters’ group which was brilliant, and really helpful for him. He is now on a 6 week block of speech therapy to try and start him on some new techniques that he will continue with when he starts school in September. He was a little bit frustrated at the first appointment last week as Louis and Zeke had to come with us and were allowed to play in the playground of the Child Development Centre while he was hard at work. He did really well though and worked very hard. His ability to focus on a task has improved so much over the last year and he sat for 20 minutes without sitting on my lap. It’s still quite hard to see him struggle with concepts that come so naturally to most children. Every single aspect of language needs to be taught to him manually and at the moment, it does seem like an enormous task. The new technique involves colour coding the type of word to try to eventually enable him to have a proper conversation. It uses visual aids which are colour coded eg. pink for a person, green for a describing word, blue for a thing etc. It seems quite complicated at the moment, but hopefully he will get the hang of it and we will soon be able to have a chat! Once his session had finished, I sent him to the playground with his Dad and brothers while i sorted out some paperwork. I helped the assistant to compile a “manual” about Thurston to tell anyone who comes into contact with him at school all about his likes and dislikes and how to talk to him. It made me realise how much of an advocate I am for Thurston, and how much more involved in his school life I will need to be to find out how he is doing. One of the best parts of kids starting school is when they tell you what they have been up to (once they have stopped telling you they can’t remember or that it was boring and they did nothing all day!). It does make me incredibly sad to think that I won’t have that with Thurston and I will have to rely on what the teachers and assistants tell me instead. This is particularly worrying now that he has learned to tell me to “shutup”. Whenever he doesn’t want to talk to me (or wants to make everyone laugh) he yells “shutup, shutup mummy shutup”. I can just picture it now when we are leaving school “did you have a nice day Thurston?” “shutup mummy!”.

Another delightful habit the boys have taught him is to make a fart noise whenever they ask him what noise his bottom makes. Aren’t boys great? They have clearly cottoned on to the fact that you can make Thurston say whatever you want and he is now their own personal parrot, ready to amuse them whenever they are bored. Mind you, I suppose it is some way to compensating them for all the times he has whacked them on the head or smashed their toys. This last fortnight, Thurston has also taken to carrying a large head of raw broccoli wherever he goes. Thurston has never been attached to a particular toy or cuddly animal but “Broccoli” is now a firm best friend and they cannot be parted. At first he was satisfied with toy vegetables until he came to the supermarket with us and realised that actual vegetables were much more realistic! After screaming for 2 aisles after the fruit & veg section for “Broccoli”, I made Alex turn back to go and get some in the hope that this was the start of a healthy eating initiative. He held “Broccoli” all the way round the supermarket and was catatonic when I broke the news that the cashier would need to scan it. Since then, “Broccoli” has been everywhere with us. He eats breakfast with “Broccoli”, watches TV with “Broccoli”, takes “Broccoli” in the garden, cuddles “Broccoli”, packs “Broccoli” in a little lunchbox to keep him safe. After about a week, “Broccoli” began to turn yellow and fall apart and generally looked pretty grim. I tried to entice Thurston with a possible new friend “Onion” but he was having none of it. A fresh “Broccoli” was bought and secretly swapped overnight and now “Broccoli” has had a lovely makeover and looks beautiful. I wonder how long I will keep having to buy replacement broccolis for………

 

Thanks for reading!

Hanj x

Soldiering on!

The last couple of weeks have been very varied to say the least. Last week I was struck down with horrible Tonsillitis on top of hayfever, on top of a cold. It was pretty nasty. When I say struck down, that’s not to suggest I actually lay down at any point, in fact, it was one of the busiest weeks I’d had for a long time and there wasn’t any time for me to have a rest. I know that all mums have the problem that they can’t really take a “day off” as such when they are unwell, and have to carry on regardless. I do think though that having a child with disabilities makes it even harder. If it was a case of taking him to a toddler group at the local children’s centre then obviously I would have just changed my plans and stayed at home with a DVD to entertain Thurston. Unfortunately, last week coincided with an appointment with a continence nurse, Thurston’s Physio and Occupational therapy group, a Team Around the Child Meeting for his transition to school, his parent teacher consultation at nursery and a Speech therapy session. I didn’t really have any choice in the matter and had to stick to all these appointments to make sure that Thurston didn’t miss out on any help or support. Of course, this meant that I was a complete wreck by the end of the week, not helped by the fact that Thurston’s sleep is dire at the moment. On average, he is going to sleep around 9pm, waking for formula at 10-11pm and getting up for the day between 1-3am! It’s not really enough to get by on, but even less so when you have infected angry tonsils!!

The appointments generally went well this week and everything seemed very positive. I was really reassured by the visit from the continence nurse. She decided that due to his age and diagnosis, Thurston’s lack of awareness in the potty training area was within the normal ranges. As with many milestones with Thurston, he is expected to get the hang of potty training at his own pace, even if it is later than neurotypical children. I’m so pleased i don’t have to push the issue as I really struggle with potty training at the best of times and I had absolutely no clue of how to approach it with an Autistic child. For now, we are going to carry on with pull-ups but encourage him to use the potty or toilet if he asks. The nurse also helped me to claim for free pull-ups for Thurston which is a service available to any child who is over the age of 4 and still using nappy products due to disabilities. It’s not really a topic that people like to discuss and it did involve a lengthy chat about Thurston’s poo-type where I had to choose from a brochure of pictures of other peoples’ poo! I hope one day Thurston will appreciate all the bizarre things I end up doing for him! Even though it’s embarrassing, I’d encourage anyone whose disabled child is delayed with toilet training to get in touch with a continence nurse. I feel as though a weight has been lifted just by talking to someone ‘in the know’ about it.

Thurston and I have been going to a ‘School Starter’s’ Physio and Occupational therapy group for 4 weeks now at the Child Development Centre. I’m so pleased with the progress he is making there and it’s really giving me confidence that he will be OK at school in September. His gross motor skills are coming along nicely and he is actually jumping on the trampoline really well with both feet in the air at the same time which is a triumph! To start with I dreaded going to this group to be honest. I’m not really a baby-group type person, and struggle with the enforced singing and nursery rhymes. However, I’ve started to really enjoy it now and it’s so lovely to see how proud the children are of themselves when they achieve something they couldn’t do the previous week. The parents there are the complete opposite of ‘competitive’ parents and it’s lovely and refreshing for everyone to be happy for another child’s achievements instead of comparing them. There’s no point in comparing them because they all have different disabilities and different strengths and weaknesses, and all the mums realise this and are happy for the other children regardless of their own child’s abilities. I think this is a really important lesson in motherhood, because even in children without disabilities, they all do things in their own time, and being competitive about raising children really can make motherhood miserable. I think everyone should come and visit our little group one day to see how it’s possible to be happy and proud of other peoples’ kids!!

The Team Around the Child meeting at the school was much easier than I expected and my voice held up for the whole time which was lucky! I’d written down some questions on my iPhone before we went in so that I didn’t get too flustered in front of all the people. There was our Key Worker (who has now OFFICIALLY closed our case so no need for her to be at the next one!), the Specialist Teacher, Welfare Officer, Inclusion Leader, Nursery Teacher, Head of Key Stage 1 and Thurston’s new one to one Teaching Assistant for September. It was lovely that Alex could make it too, as he was laid up from his 2nd spinal surgery last time and  I had to go it alone! All our questions were answered about his starting school in September and I don’t have any major worries about it at the moment. The only thing I might struggle with is encouraging him to eat fruit over the Summer so that he will be able to eat some at school snack times! His Organix gingerbread men might tempt the other children away from the grapes and carrots! I do worry that people think I don’t want Thurston to eat healthily when it’s completely the opposite. I spend most of my time worrying over his nutrition, and even took an Open University course last year to try and learn more so I could help him. I make sure he has his specially fortified formula and prescribed vitamins every day, but he really struggles with foods that aren’t dry and boring. I know this is true of lots of little ones with Autism and it is a worry. I try to make his chicken goujons and beefburgers homemade whenever possible, but I am really struggling with encouraging him to be more adventurous with his food. Since he has had medical issues with his swallowing as well, I do wonder if he will ever move on to different textures of food, and I’m not really sure where to look for advice.

Thurston had a great time at his Speech Therapy appointment and steamed through all of his tasks without a hitch. It did occur to me that since he’s been having Speech Therapy from the age of 1, that he has simply learned ‘how to do speech therapy’! I’m no expert, but I wonder if because he’s been doing the same tasks over and over for years in the same room, if perhaps he has actually just memorized the routine of the speech therapy sessions!! Most of his talking and phrases come from copying others, and is very echolalic, so maybe he has mastered speech therapy in the same way?! How sneaky!

After the busy and poorly week, I could have done with a weekend in bed, but instead I soldiered on to London for the day on Saturday to celebrate my best friend’s Hen Day. I took every tablet I could get my hands on, and it was definitely worth it! It was quite a relief to be away from the children for a day actually, and somehow even though we went all over London to Kentish Town, Bloomsbury and the South Bank, went bowling and to a circus, I feel like I got more rest that day than I had all week. We had a fantastic day and it all went without a hitch which I was pleased with as Maid of Honour! It was quite nice to just be me for a day instead of a mum, and chat about all kinds of nonsense with some lovely girls. The Cantina vintage circus on the South Bank was really magical and right up my street. I’m so glad I forced myself to go, and even though my tonsils didn’t thank me for it, my mind certainly did and I felt really invigorated afterwards!

The rest of this week has mostly been spent taking care of Thurston as he has been what I can only describe as ‘iffy and suspicious’! He hasn’t got a temperature or been sick or anything but he just looks ‘off-colour’. His eyes are sore and he has a mouthful of ulcers which are really upsetting him. It has also been 5 days now since he last did a poo so that can’t be nice! He has been really distressed and keeps sobbing whilst muttering “what’s goin on?”, it’s terribly sad.

Tomorrow he is going to spend the day with his Dad who is something of an expert at baby massage and so I am sure he can get the poop out of him!! I am going to take my Driving Theory Test which I have zero confidence that I will pass, but it’s worth a shot! Wish me luck!!

Thanks for reading,

Hanj x

Missing being Mary Poppins

Thurston has been awake since 2am, and has just fallen asleep at 9.30am. I would normally take advantage of this and lay on the sofa watching TV, but my 5 year old is off school for a teacher training day and is watching The Muppets Take Manhattan. I have that horrible hot, overtired feeling and I don’t know how to shake it off. I’m not just tired from last night’s lack of sleep, I’m tired from the last couple of weeks. Ever since Thurston’s birthday, he has been a little wrecking ball of mayhem. His current favourite TV show is “Ooglies” on the CBBC channel (or as Thurston pronounces it ‘the CBCB channel’). For those who haven’t watched it, it’s an animated series about a collection of fruit, vegetables, kitchen implements, stationery etc which are all alive and have ‘googlie eyes’. Thurston is enamoured with it and has set about collecting all the ‘characters’ from the show. This basically involves him looting fruit and veg from around the house and playing “Ooglies” then hiding the oranges, bananas etc in various places around the lounge for his next game. It’s a risky game in this hot & humid weather and I am now constantly on the lookout for rogue fresh produce. He is particularly keen to get his mitts on my box of eggs and will go to any length to get them, regardless of how dangerous it is. It feels similar to when your baby learns to crawl for the 1st time, and you are suddenly ultra-aware that nothing is safe anymore. I have to be constantly vigilant around him and to be honest, at 4 years old, I’m really irritated by it!

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I had just about got to the point where my house is how I want it to be. It’s not astonishingly neat & tidy, but everything had its’ place and it was easy to clean up and put things away throughout the day. However, Thurston is now so chaotic and unpredictable that within the 1st hour of the day, he has usually hidden marmite toast down the back of the sofa, done some colouring on the fridge, poured formula in his cars toy box, stolen all the fruit from the bowl and scattered it throughout the lounge, and put the iPod touch in the recycling bin. It’s impossible to keep on top of it all and keep the place looking nice.

When I had 2 children, I was so particular about everything. We lived in a little 2 bedroom flat above a shop, and everything was immaculate. The children would play and make their mess, then when the eldest went to nursery and the youngest napped, I would clear everything away and it would look good as new again. I would do activities with them and talk to them all the time, bake with them, take them to the park. It was all very Mary Poppins! It should be possible with 3 children, and of course it is possible, but it seems to take so much more time and energy because of Thurston. I’ve had to completely rethink my standards. Their outfits do not co ordinate anymore. I only attempt to cook with them if there is another adult in the house to be on ‘oven-watch’. I tidy up constantly throughout the day, but I definitely don’t clean it all every day. I have enough trouble keeping on top of the surface dirt of mud, spilt drinks and felt tip, let alone getting out the floor cleaner and furniture polish. I do still hoover everyday but that is only because by the time Thurston has eaten lunch, the floor looks like someone has stamped an entire meal into it and crumbled what ever was left over the top (that’s because that’s exactly what he has done!). I do a big proper clean about once a week so it is clean still, but it’s just not how I’d like it. I’ve had to learn to let go a little bit. If it’s a choice between cleaning behind the sofa or going for a walk along the beach, then I will get out of the house, no question.

It’s not just the house that’s taken a battering lately, but I’ve also learned to accept being permanently embarrassed. We took the kids on a day trip to London at the weekend. We’ve taken them to London before but for various reasons, it was the 1st time we had taken all 3 at the same time. For some reason, it just didn’t work. The older boys were stroppy and whiney, and Thurston was just a complete and utter terror from start to finish. He hated the train, he hated being in the buggy. Despite being knackered, I thought it was fair enough that he didn’t want to be in the buggy and got him out for a walk once we got past Westminster Abbey. This did nothing to help his mood, he got very cross that I tried to hold hands with him, and then became really stressed by the crowds and decided the only option was to take a lie-down in the middle of the pavement which wasn’t exactly ideal. I hoisted him up and he walked a few more metres before lying down again, this time right in front of a horse and guard shouting “Mind out for Thurston!”. I agree, it sounds pretty funny now. I picked him up and he started to shout again, this time he shouted “mummy hurting me” which is a classic he likes to throw out there when there are strangers watching, thanks Thurst!

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Obviously as on any family day out, it poured down with rain. I had brought raincoats for everyone except me naturally and so I was hot, embarrassed and now drenched. We finally made it to St James’ Park and let Thurston roam free which was just what he needed. Due to the rain, there were some incredibly large puddles in the park which were irresistable to Thurston. Once he had stepped in that 1st muddy puddle, there was no going back. He wasn’t dressed appropriately, he was wearing his lovely Clarks shoes instead of wellies, and jeans not waterproofs, but for the 1st time that day he looked genuinely happy. Alex and I let him be, and enjoyed watching him splosh around getting soaked. Some tourists were actually shocked and horrified that we were letting him get so wet but I can honestly say I didn’t care. There was a time when I would’ve cared and probably would have stopped him as soon as his foot hit the water, but I’ve realised that even if you have spent £65 on a train fayre to look at the sights of London, if they end up being happiest when splashing in a colossal puddle, then that is still money well spent. After all, the point of having a family day out is for kids to enjoy themselves. We were probably unprepared for the fact that the final puddle was the puddle to end all puddles and actually Thurston was now up to his knees in grubby park water. We couldn’t even get him out because the puddle was so deep that our shoes would’ve been destroyed. He stayed in that puddle for as long as he wanted to, and I know that he thoroughly enjoyed himself.

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Once we had walked over to Buckingham Palace, Thurston did actually start to get quite distressed that he was so wet and cold. In the past, if it had been one of my other children, I would have looked for a loo or a cafe to sort him out in private. He was screaming and miserable and I have stopped caring what strangers think of me! He stripped off right outside the palace and I can honestly say i wasn’t that fussed. By that point, I just wanted him to be warm and dry and comfortable. By some foresight, I actually had brought some pyjamas with me so I managed to sort him out no problem.

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As for the rest of the week, he has thrown admission forms into someone’s garden and left me foraging in their bushes to find them. He has tried to cut off a Physiotherapist’s finger. He referred to a therapist (persistently) as Nanny. He slapped his new teacher and new teaching assistant round the face for trying to convince him to sit on a carpet. He’s pulled my top down in front of my friends, and he threw my iPhone (which I just had replaced for the 2nd time because of him) into the road. I do sometimes think about the situations he makes me end up in, and I often think to myself “i would only do this for you Thurston”, and it’s really true. I may not be a Mary Poppins-type anymore, but having a child like Thurston has taught me some really valuable life-lessons:

1: Dusting the top of the TV can wait until tomorrow. Build a Mega-Bloks tower instead.

2: It really doesn’t matter if strangers are staring at you. You will never see them again.

3: The kids’ outifts do not need to co ordinate, they just need to withstand stains, falling over and going on the slide.

4: I do still need to pack spare clothes for my child, even though he is 4!

5: Never make firm plans, go with the flow and everyone will be more relaxed.

6: Get out of the house as much as possible. Even if it’s a disaster, you will end up laughing about it. You will never regret going out, but I *often* regret staying in.

7: If your child prefers splashing in muddy puddles/looking at the trees in the breeze/playing a kissing game to going to expensive attractions, don’t be disappointed, be pleased that they are so easily pleased and embrace it. The simple things in life are often the most rewarding!

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Thanks for reading.

Hanj x

4

Yesterday was Thurston’s birthday and he is now an unbelievable 4 years old already. Birthdays tend to make me very nostalgic and sentimental, so I was planning a misty-eyed tearjerker of a blog. However, he has been an absolute pain in the backside all day and so I have abandoned my complimentary blog in favour of telling the truth! I will however interject with lovely pictures of the week so you can see that he is 99.9% adorable and I love him 100% of the time!!

It has been a particularly busy week and we have been doing lots of things that are different to usual so I am sure that he is just overtired and cranky but he really has been pushing all of my buttons today. Combined with the fact that I have now barely slept for a week and there is no food in the house (I had mozzarella pearls, smoked mackerel and lemon cous cous for lunch, and egg, spinach and lean bacon for dinner!) and I can safely say my patience has left the building.

I have a theory about Thurston and his wacky behaviour though. I think that in general Thurston is approximately 2 years delayed developmentally, which would mean that now at the age of 4, we are finally heading into the terrible 2′s! Looking back on the morning I spent/endured with him, it was very similar to the same bedraggled feeling I had with my other tiny toddlers. It got to 1.30pm when I realised I hadn’t had breakfast or brushed my hair (despite having done 2 school runs, sorry kids). The curtains had been pulled down off the track, the floor was covered in DVDs and the shelves were bare. Marmite toast was stuck down the back of the sofa. I made him a bottle of formula but he didn’t like the colour of the lid and repeatedly screamed “MILK MILK MILK…”. He followed me to the kitchen, saw me tip the formula into an ‘appropriately’ coloured bottle, then screamed again “NO MILK, GO IN KITCHEN”. He then watched as I made an entirely new batch of formula (uncontaminated by the blue-lidded evil bottle). He lay on his pillow, drank the milk and then started all over again “BISCUIT BISCUIT”.

By 12.15pm, Grandma had arrived to take him to nursery as the weather wasn’t really great for walking. Thurston had ignored his lunch for half an hour because he was too busy making me replay the same episode of “Ooglies” off of the Sky + planner, despite the fact that I bought him an entire “Ooglies” DVD for his birthday yesterday. I decided that he obviously didn’t need lunch and so I tried to get him into his nursery uniform. However, Thurston has a frustrating (yet impressive) party trick of relaxing all of the muscles in his body and going completely floppy. When you add that to the fact that he is double-jointed and bends in whatever direction you move him, it was basically like dressing a fish. Once dressed, he obviously fancied his lunch, which due to his weird mood was a plate of Frazzles, so he went to nursery covered in orange streaks all over his shirt, marvellous. Even as he was leaving, he tried to dump Grandma in favour of going home with one of the neighbours. I am told that all the way to nursery he chanted “Thurston is a nightmare, Thurston is a nightmare”, so maybe I didn’t keep my opinions to myself very well this morning.

He was a beast at nursery too and got in trouble for throwing toys and not sharing. It’s probably unreasonable, but I am always secretly pleased when he plays up for other people because at least then people know I’m not exaggerating! When he got home, he was still pretty grim and spent a good 5 minutes headbutting me in the a**e while I chatted on the phone! That’ll teach me to think I can talk to someone else!! I did manage to briefly cheer him up by letting him sit on the kitchen counter wearing my free sunglasses from Cosmo and a colander as a hat, so I was pleased with that.

Between us, we managed to get some food in him and dunk him in the tub and he did eventually fall asleep, so things are quiet for now. So that was the first day of Thurston being 4. I am keeping everything firmly crossed that he just got out the wrong side of bed this morning (ie. last night) and that tomorrow he will resume to being an adorable little elf!!

Thanks for reading

Hanj x

The Naughty Step Won’t Work!

I wrote this blog post for another website so it does go over some things I have mentioned before. I thought I would post it on here too in case anyone has any tips to share about discipline with Autistic children.

 

A couple of months ago, I was stood in a queue in a restaurant when I realised a man was standing very close behind me. I was holding my 3 year old son on my hip and evidently he had thought the same as me, and turned around and hit him in the head. Now, if this had been either of my other 2 children, I would have been equally mortified but I would have at least known how to react. I would have made them apologise, told them we weren’t eating out and left the restaurant. I didn’t do any of that. If I’m honest, I did nothing. I went redder and redder, tried to pretend it hadn’t happened and waited for my table. I’m not a bad mum and I definitely want my children to be kind to other people, but I really don’t know how to handle these situations, and that was the 3rd of it’s kind in the same week.

Of course, what I should have done is told the man the truth. I should have turned to him and said “I am so sorry that he hit you. He has Autism Spectrum Disorder and doesn’t like people being too near to him”. Something stops me saying it to people though. I’ve been trying to work out why that is. It is an understandable explanation for a my little boy’s behaviour, but somehow I still see it as a slur on my motherhood skills. Yet, in my sensible head I know that of course it isn’t. He has been formally diagnosed with a neurological disorder which means that he has very little social skills and lots of frustrations and challenging behaviour.

One of the reasons, I find it hard to say the word “Autism” in a conversation with strangers is that talking to strangers is because it’s nice to talk about something else. Strangers won’t ask me how speech therapy is going or what kind of support he is going to have at school. In fact, they are more likely to compliment his beautiful eyelashes and golden hair, or smile at the way he adorably tells them to “have a nice day”. I crave these little slices of normality where for a moment there is nothing unusual about him.

There is still very little understanding of Autism and when it is mentioned, people often know a friend of a friend whose child has Autism. The mythical Autistic child is often very ‘naughty’ and these horror stories can be hard to listen to on a regular basis. It is much like being subjected to strangers’ birth stories once you are noticably pregnant.

The reality is that I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. How do you discipline a child who doesn’t have any understanding that anyone else has feelings, or even have an understanding of their own self? The naughty step is useless with a child who has no sense of danger and will gladly throw himself down the steps just to see what happen. Trying to talk to him is met with being interrupted with requests for DVDs or food. There is little advice on how to control his behaviour and that is really frightening. I have an 8 year old and a 5 year old who, aside from the occasional bout of bickering and snatching toys, are very sweet, mild mannered, kind children. I haven’t had to deal with violence from children before and I haven’t a clue how to go about fixing it, or if fixing it is even possible.

When we are at a park or soft play area, and my little boy hits other children or pushes them over, it breaks my heart. Yet, I am still too embarrassed to tell them that he is Autistic. I am fairly knowledgable about Autism, but it feels to me that there is still a terrible stigma attached to it. It seems that despite it being a recognised disability, a medical condition, there is still that risk that strangers will use Autism as a judgement of your parenting abilities. Instead of being an explanation for horrible behaviours, I worry that a lot of people see it as an excuse.

I think the only way forward is to try and be a bit braver. I won’t keep running away from awkward situations with my little boy as he is too amazing to keep to myself, and I love him to bits. I know it would be much simpler if I was just honest with people and explained to them why he is different. I have to trust that people will be understanding, and if they are not, well, I won’t see them again anyway.

June

It is June already and that means that in a couple of weeks Thurston turns 4 years old. I know everyone says they can’t believe how fast time flies with their little ones, but it’s so true. I still cradle Thurston in my arms to get him to sleep, just like I did when he was a baby, and sometimes it feels like only 4 weeks ago that he was a newborn with a mop of jet black hair instead of a school-age boy with a head of blonde waves.

He’s certainly kept me on my toes this week and I’m fairly shattered! The sleep pattern really is all over the place at the moment as it is so humid and uncomfortable. The current pattern seems to be: Thurston finishes nursery, falls asleep for 5 minutes in Alex’s car, comes home, falls asleep in his dinner until about 6pm then stays awake and won’t go back to sleep til 9pm ish then is up several times a night before finally getting up for the day at 5am. I’m not a fan. Sometimes he will also nap on the way to nursery when I walk him there in his buggy, but more often than not now, he will sit and look through a Peppa Pig book. I love watching him look through a book, as it’s another milestone that I was looking forward to. He looks so serious and thoughtful while he looks at his little storybook, it makes my heart melt.

Another problem caused by the hot weather is that Thurston is covered in a bumpy rash all of the time. I’m not sure if it is a heat rash or a reaction to sunscreen but it’s a shame because I don’t think there’s a lot I can do about it. I kept him home from nursery for a day in case it was a virus and although he slept all afternoon, I don’t think he was poorly, so I will have to just treat the rash instead. A day later there was a bit of relief with a great big thunderstorm. As with all types of wet weather, Thurston was absolutely thrilled! I kept him indoors as it was a full-on thunder and lightning, walls of water, tropical storm, but he would have been in his element if I’d have put his wellies on him and flung him outdoors!! My 8 year old was not at all impressed by the thunderstorm and to be honest, was a bit scared. Thurston on the other hand (along with his other brother) cheered and shouted “hooray” everytime the thunder cracked in the sky! He really does love the rain!

We were due to start a course of Speech Therapy this week with a new Speech Therapist but she was unwell and had to cancel which was a bit of a shame as Thurston was looking forward to it. Hopefully Thurston will be able to make this week’s appointment instead. I’m itching to know what he makes of the new lady! Since we had an unexpected Thurston-free afternoon, Alex & I went shopping for his birthday presents. I always find his birthdays a little bit bittersweet and emotional, so I had been putting off birthday shopping. Birthdays are a bit tricky because obviously it’s lovely to celebrate Thurston and all of his amazing achievements, but it can be hard to be reminded of his age and how far behind he is. Since childhood milestones are generally measured by age, it tends to make birthdays somewhat of a sore point for anyone who’s kid is delayed developmentally. This year is a bit harder even, because Thurston is starting school in September which is obviously really nerve-wracking for me, and looking at all the other children who are about to start school, I just can’t quite see how Thurston is going to fit in. We’ve got a meeting scheduled in for July so I will start a list of questions for that and then hopefully I will feel better. After moping for 10 minutes in the car about how I don’t really like birthdays, Alex made me snap out of it and we went and bought him a car load of presents that I’m really pleased with. I can’t wait for his birthday now, he’s got one surprise in particular that I know is going to make him so happy!

With the Jubilee this week, I’ve been very busy making sure everyone had their Jubilee costumes and party food sorted for school parties and picnics. Thurston’s nursery had a Jubilee picnic (though I found out Thurston had less of a picnic and opted for a relay race with his 1-to-1 instead!). There was a “Futuristic” theme so Thurston went in his Wall-E costume which was ridiculously cute! He looked amazing and was really happy coming home with his Jubilee medal and crown, or “queen” as he called it!

Speaking of Thurston’s ‘alternative’ language, I was slightly red-faced when I took the kids to the park this week. As it happens, Thurston cannot pronounce ‘park’, so when we got there he shouted “big cock, I love big cock”!! Brilliant. The other mums looked slightly concerned, but I couldn’t stop laughing which I’m sure annoyed them even more! Even when I picked him up to leave he carried on “more cock, more cock please”!!

We went out after the park for a big lunch at Chiquito’s. We’ve taken the kids there before several times, but Thurston’s usually only had fries or most times, has been asleep so we hadn’t ordered off the menu for him before. I usually check the allergy information of a restaurant before we go but as it was an impromptu visit, I hadn’t done my research. Alex pointed out that it said on the menu just to ask if you had any queries about allergies so we assumed they knew what they were talking about. When the waiter arrived I asked him if there was any dairy in the chicken bites. He shrugged, screwed up his face and said “what in chicken bites? Doubt it” and didn’t move. I guess I was supposed to base my decision on whether or not to risk Thurston throwing up for 24 hours on this detailed information, but much to his annoyance we made him go back to the kitchen to double check. It just goes to show that some restaurants really need to work on their allergy policies. They are dicing with peoples’ health and it’s really dangerous. I won’t be going back to Chiquitos, I will stick to places who make food fresh so that they can leave out ingredients where possible and they know exactly what goes into it. The best places I have found so far are mostly small, independant places as they know precisely what ingredients they have used and are really helpful. Also, Wagamamas has a pristine allergy policy and everything is made fresh to order.

We’ve just got back from our first time taking the children to Ikea for a day out. We had lots of grand plans for beach walks and al fresco dining this weekend but the rain has pretty much wiped it all out. So we decided to take a little road trip on the spur of the moment. The kids did very well in the car, mostly thanks to The Muppets Movie soundtrack. Thurston was absolutely fascinated by Ikea, especially the showroom with all the little lounges, bedrooms and kitchens. Mind you, he raced through them at such high speed that it wasn’t exactly the leisurely Sunday I had envisaged. He looked so happy that he was allowed to open and shut all the cupboard and drawers and climb on all the sofas! He also ploughed his way through yet another portion of chips and then chose a little blue plastic armchair to take home. Zeke chose a lovely storybook about vegetables (which is the only kind of story he really likes) and Louis got a desklamp to do his work under. All in all, I think it was a success. I’m not really in a hurry to do it again though, I need a great big Nap!

Thanks for reading

Hanj x

Sun, sea, sand and splash

The sun has finally made an appearance in Margate for long enough for us to actually get out and about and enjoy it. This weekend has been a blissful Summery couple of days and I have thoroughly enjoyed catching the sun and spending time watching my kids have fun. It’s felt like a bit of a long week as it often does when it is hot and the kids are at school. It’s definitely more difficult to enjoy the rare nice weather if you are doing the school run and lugging book bags and lunchboxes everywhere you go. So, I really appreciated that the sun lasted into the weekend and let us throw mealtimes and bedtimes out the window for a couple of days.

Thurston has definitely found the heat a bit of a struggle and has been napping and falling asleep regularly, usually in his dinner which has had a terrible knock-on effect to his sleep pattern! However, he has been very determined to make the most of it and seems to have really benefitted from spending more time outside and having a bit more freedom. At the start of the week, I made an effort to try and ‘tidy up’ my overgrown garden. It was in a dreadful state having not been touched since my husband injured his spine in 2010. As he is still recovering from his surgery, I tried to do the majority of the weeding and raking myself which was easier said than done with Thurston around. Being the little diva that he is, if I am in the garden at the same time as Thurston, I must permanently be watching and cheering everything he does. Focussing my attention on the gardening instead was unacceptable, which I found out in no uncertain terms when I was whacked over the head from behind with a baking tray. I have learnt the lesson that gardening is only doable with 2 adults. One to weed, and one to be the audience member for Thurston’s live performance.

Having tidied the garden, it seemed logical to play in it and so I invited over an old friend from my teenage years and her adorable 3 year old and twin toddlers. We blew up a massive paddling pool and got their swimming cossies out, plastered on the SPF50 and were actually able to sit and drink tea and have a catch up whilst the kids splashed and played. It is so unusual for Thurston to take to people that instantly and the 6 kids played beautifully together. Being a little water baby, Thurston wasn’t in the least bit bothered about being splashed or realistically, drenched by the other kids. In fact, he was one of the main offenders!! I made a pick n mix lunch of french stick, grapes, kettle chips, organix and salad, and the kids were all good as gold sharing their lunches. Thurston joined all of the other kids on the sofa to watch Tom & Jerry and he played with a noisy Peppa Pig book with his new buddy. Although every so often he still took time out to lay with his pillow, there was no instance of him snatching or lashing out, or crying even. It was a lovely moment for me to realise how far he has come and the progress he has made with socialising. I’m so so proud of him. It was nice for me too, to spend time with people and not worry about what they would think of Thurston, he was just one kid in the big mix, which was really satisfying.

Of course, as soon as the visitors went home, Thurston spent the rest of the afternoon asleep on his Dinosaur pillow. This gave the boys a window of opportunity to sneak out and buy a laptop with our tax rebate which is very exciting! I now have a computer which will make blogging quite a bit easier! I naturally started to panic at the thought of another sleepless night after he’d had such a long nap, so at 7pm after a lovely dinner, I threw the kids sandals on them and dragged them all off to Margate beach for a sunset beach walk. We drove so that we could get to a beach a bit further away where we were guaranteed there would still be sand as I am notorious for getting the tides timings completely wrong. I’m so pleased we made the effort to go out, even though it was past the kids’ usual bedtime. We spent over an hour playing on the sand. Thurston was so happy jumping in the rock pools or ‘muddy puddles’ as he called them. He ran and ran and laughed the whole time, especially when his trousers fell down! Louis and Zeke were typical boys and spent their time writing insults about each other in the sand “Zeke smells”, “Louis loves Christians” (!!!). The sea and the sky looked incredible at that time of night and it was really refreshing to let the children just be. It is starting to become a regular thing for us now, to take the children to the beach of an evening and let them just run and wear themselves out. There’s a lovely quality about the beach that puts everything into perspective and reminds you just to enjoy each other and be happy.

I even managed an evening out this week which was brilliant. So that the kids weren’t too jealous, we treated them to dinner at Nando’s beforehand with a couple of our friends. It’s nice to do something with the kids after school when we can, so we don’t get too stuck in a rut. Thurston is very impatient when we go out to eat as he doesn’t understand that food needs to be cooked and cooled before he can eat it, so 6 of us sat there frantically blowing on chips while he barked orders at us all. It’s a good job we all love him!! Despite his outrage, he actually ate his entire meal in super quick time and enjoyed the chicken even though it had no breadcrumb coating. Usually he would struggle with ‘naked’ chicken, but I think because we had gone for dinner staright from nursery pick-up, he was too hungry to care! He did amazingly well and went to bed no problem for his babysitters which was a relief. The boys tried their luck of course and stayed up a little late, but that’s what babysitters are for. I went with my husband and our friends to see Simon Amstell’s new show “Numb” and had a fantastic time. It was the perfect mix of comedy and hippy philosophy that I love. I went home with a lovely warm feeling and felt determined to always look for the joy in life as Simon Amstell suggested.

Next week is the Jubilee weekend, and the children have 1-2 weeks off school so I am looking forward to being outside even more and watching what lovely little boys they are becoming, whilst working on my tan of course!

Thanks for reading

Hanj x

Pros and Cons

This week we received the proposed Statement of Educational Needs and although I am very pleased with the result and Thurston will be getting all the help he needs at school, it was a bit of a slap in the face!! Having to apply for a Statement puts you in the unusual and unenviable position of someone sending you paperwork which is basically a critique of your child. Everyone know it’s a bad idea to write a list weighing up the pros and cons of a person, but it is very bad to write a list that only contains cons!! That’s what I got, 85 pages of everything that Thurston can’t do. I can’t imagine any other situation where that would happen, even in school reports, they phrase everything in a positive way. It’s almost unheard of for anyone to send you negative information about your children, and for good reason, because it makes you feel like crap.
Ultimately though, I know that this is what had to be done to get him the help and support that he will need at school. It is just a means to an end, and all the professionals did a really good job of describing Thurston’s problems which I am really grateful for. Even though it was shocking to see a list of skills with a page full of “not at all” ticks, I understand that it is their job to point out all the negatives.
However, I feel it I my job to point out all the positives about Thurston, so here is my very own pros list of skills which he would score highly in!!
-Thurston is brilliant at squeezing people. Proper full on, enthusiastic hugs!
-very talented at spinning round in circles. Has a high threshold for dizziness.
-tidies up his toy cars before we leave the house. Very helpful and neat.
-gives his brothers their coats every morning and their pyjamas every night (this could be interpreted as trying to get rid of them but I am going to assume it is thoughtfulness!)
-eats his dinner every night without any whingeing.
-he is the co-founder of the very funny game “beard attack” and likes to play this with Alex every day, which makes Alex very happy.
-Thurston celebrates every achievement and praises other people when they have achieved something, often telling me “good boy mummy”.
-he is very concerned about other people and doesn’t like to see anyone upset and always asks “what’s the matter?”
-Thurston looks ridiculously adorable in whatever outfits I put him in. He is super cute.
-my little boy knows the name of every single character in Cars, Cars 2 and Cars Toons. There are hundreds of them, he can even group them together according to which scenes they are in.
-After breakfast and lunch, he takes his plate to the kitchen, tips his crusts in the bin and puts his plate in the sink. Again, very helpful and neat.
-the kid’s got rhythm. He sings the tunes of all his favourite songs in perfect time and has very cool taste in music.
-Thurston is an awesome dancer and forces anyone in the house to dance whenever he hears music.
-Thurston can count higher than most 5 year olds. (sadly only a few people can understand his words, but trust me, his number skills are surprisingly good!)
-he is the happiest and most beautiful person I know and makes everybody we know happy just by smiling at them.

So there it is, I’ve done my job and now at least the pros and cons list is evened out!!
Thanks for reading
Hanj x

What a Difference a Week Makes

I wrote the last blog in the midst of a sinus infection, a lack of sleep and a distinct lack of sunshine so it was a little bit on the grumpy side! Although the sun is yet to appear, the house is full of happiness and things are looking up!

We’ve had a couple of big appointments this week and for once, they went exactly as I hoped and I got really positive outcomes for Thurston. His Physiotherapy review showed that he is hitting all the targets that were set for him including a tiny little jump!! He even stepped over a series of miniature hurdles which was pretty impressive, maybe he will make the Olympics after all! Although he is making fantastic progress, he is getting pain in his right foot and has less of an arch there than in his left, so we are going back to the Podiatrist to see if anything can be done. The Physiotherapist has set up a meeting to hand him over to the Community Physio who will be around if he needs anything during his school life. Also, he is going to join a Pre school physio/speech therapy group over the Summer to try and prepare him for school. I couldn’t have asked for more really.

Today came the dreaded Feeding Clinic review. I have been taking Thurston to the Feeding Clinic since he was a baby and I find it really hard-going. The professionals there are very unapproachable and all talk amongst themselves, and honestly I don’t think they do a lot for us. Today, they discharged us into the care of the hospital Dietician until Thurston reaches the 9th percentile and is off of the specialist formula. He is still very underweight and lacking in nutrients, but only really needs a Dietician’s help, so I was ecstatic to hear that we would never be going back to Feeding Clinic. I probably skipped out of there, I was so happy! Since they had ‘cleverly’ scheduled this appointment at 12pm, Thurston missed his lunch so we took him to McDonald’s (which is recommended by the Dietician for the high fat & calorie content!). The little sneak swiped my pot of ketchup and dipped a chip. I watched him out of the corner of my eye so I didn’t spook him and he picked up the chip, span it round then ate it from dry end to ketchuppy end! Thurston is very anti-sticky food so I hope this is a step in the right direction, and he got a balloon as a reward!

This isn’t the 1st food revelation we had this week. I made a batch of vegan Blueberry Muffins for the family and left the plate out in the kitchen for any passing cake-lovers. Having seen Zeke take a muffin, Thurston decided to be brave and grab one too. He just walked around with it at first, and I thought he was only interested because of the little London bus cake cases my friend had given me. After a few minutes though, he took a big bite and went on to eat a third of one! I’m hoping this will lead the way to more cakes and treats. I’d better get experimenting in the kitchen. Next up, muesli bars!

As usual, Thurston is full of surprises and has recently switched from his favourite Cars 2 DVD to watching marathons of Peppa Pig episodes! I can’t say I enjoy Peppa Pig, but I am grateful for the change of subject. I must say though I am pleased with some of the adorable songs that Peppa has taught Thurston and enjoy being sung to while I do the housework! I thought that the songs were impressive until I realised that he had picked up some new vocabulary from Peppa Pig thanks to George Pig and his love of dinosaurs. Having planned a trip to the Zoo for the bank holiday weekend, I asked Thurston what animals we would see and his reply was “Tyrannosaurus Rex, Brontosaurus and Triceratops”!! I haven’t stopped making him say it ever since!

I wondered if he would be disappointed by the Zoo given that he was expecting to see Jurassic Park, but he was brilliant all day and didn’t cry once. We met some friends at the Zoo who were new to Thurston but he was very friendly and chatty and probably a bit of a show-off. He had great fun splashing in the muddy puddles and running after the peacocks. Just when I thought he was going to be difficult, we went into the Reptile House and saw lizards, crocodiles, tortoises and frogs. All of which, luckily, Thurston assumed to be dinosaurs. So according to him, when you ask what he saw at the Zoo, he saw “Tyrannosaurus Rex, Brontosaurus and Triceratops”.

My other sons are sat next to me as I type and have asked to be included in this blog. How could I say no?! So here are their achievements for the week. Zeke has been a superstar at school and was asked to stand up in assembly to show everybody his homemade game “Muppet Monopoly”. As for Louis, he single-handedly researched and planned our route to the Zoo and was a fantastic navigator.

I’m very lucky to have such weird and wonderful boys

Thanks for reading

Hanj x