Pros and Cons

This week we received the proposed Statement of Educational Needs and although I am very pleased with the result and Thurston will be getting all the help he needs at school, it was a bit of a slap in the face!! Having to apply for a Statement puts you in the unusual and unenviable position of someone sending you paperwork which is basically a critique of your child. Everyone know it’s a bad idea to write a list weighing up the pros and cons of a person, but it is very bad to write a list that only contains cons!! That’s what I got, 85 pages of everything that Thurston can’t do. I can’t imagine any other situation where that would happen, even in school reports, they phrase everything in a positive way. It’s almost unheard of for anyone to send you negative information about your children, and for good reason, because it makes you feel like crap.
Ultimately though, I know that this is what had to be done to get him the help and support that he will need at school. It is just a means to an end, and all the professionals did a really good job of describing Thurston’s problems which I am really grateful for. Even though it was shocking to see a list of skills with a page full of “not at all” ticks, I understand that it is their job to point out all the negatives.
However, I feel it I my job to point out all the positives about Thurston, so here is my very own pros list of skills which he would score highly in!!
-Thurston is brilliant at squeezing people. Proper full on, enthusiastic hugs!
-very talented at spinning round in circles. Has a high threshold for dizziness.
-tidies up his toy cars before we leave the house. Very helpful and neat.
-gives his brothers their coats every morning and their pyjamas every night (this could be interpreted as trying to get rid of them but I am going to assume it is thoughtfulness!)
-eats his dinner every night without any whingeing.
-he is the co-founder of the very funny game “beard attack” and likes to play this with Alex every day, which makes Alex very happy.
-Thurston celebrates every achievement and praises other people when they have achieved something, often telling me “good boy mummy”.
-he is very concerned about other people and doesn’t like to see anyone upset and always asks “what’s the matter?”
-Thurston looks ridiculously adorable in whatever outfits I put him in. He is super cute.
-my little boy knows the name of every single character in Cars, Cars 2 and Cars Toons. There are hundreds of them, he can even group them together according to which scenes they are in.
-After breakfast and lunch, he takes his plate to the kitchen, tips his crusts in the bin and puts his plate in the sink. Again, very helpful and neat.
-the kid’s got rhythm. He sings the tunes of all his favourite songs in perfect time and has very cool taste in music.
-Thurston is an awesome dancer and forces anyone in the house to dance whenever he hears music.
-Thurston can count higher than most 5 year olds. (sadly only a few people can understand his words, but trust me, his number skills are surprisingly good!)
-he is the happiest and most beautiful person I know and makes everybody we know happy just by smiling at them.

So there it is, I’ve done my job and now at least the pros and cons list is evened out!!
Thanks for reading
Hanj x

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10 thoughts on “Pros and Cons

  1. Hi there, just thought I’d leave a comment because I loved your blog… Can relate to it as we’re compiling my little mans (jack’s 3yo) statement along with the nursery and other authorities and it’s not a good read… But as you I’ve a great list of positives which no one but me will see and he makes me and my hubby smile every day!!

    Thanks for sharing…

    Big hugs.. Faye x

  2. Oh, wow, what an awesome little boy he is! I so hope he gets a great teacher who can see beyond the can’ts and appreciate the cans! : )

  3. Here are my top 3 for the list:
    1. He has very good manners, always says hello, asks me how I am and cheerily says goodbye
    2. He appreciates nature whether it’s the rain or the feel of the sand
    3. He makes you feel extra special when he chooses to come over and take his nap on your lap

    We love thurston! And of course Louis and zeke, all equally. And don’t you and Alex feel left out. We love you too xxx

  4. Hi, it was really nice reading your blog and reminded me of the education statements we did for Frankie year in year out. I actually felt a bit differently about them, I wanted them to really highlight everything in an eggagerated way, otherwise we wouldn’t get the help we needed. In the first Education Review, I remember slating the school a bit, for not giving enough physio, and not focusing on certain elements of his care, and then they said we’d rather you said this before the meeting, and I said ‘I’d rather it was minuted’, and from that moment on, I knew it was another battle in the long list of battles. I quite often found support services were more of a battle than support. But it’s good to see the positives, and I always saw those too (like the school widened the door so his bed could be pushed around the school classrooms for when he couldn’t get up, he could still go to lessons on his bed). Anyway, it’s nice to hear a mum listing the amazing things about her son. It’s a great quality to be able to see something like that list you saw, have an emotion, and immediately act on it so that it’s a postive. Nice work!

    1. Hiya! They definitely don’t make the statementing process easy do they?! My friend said to me the other day “how can you only be disabled for a certain number of hours a week?”. When you think of it like that it is ridiculous. I’m definitely glad they made sure they included everything negative they could because I am terrible at confrontation and all the battles. I know a couple of months back, someone wrote that he was “happy” in a report and they cut his funding in half. It took one afternoon for them to see they were wrong and reinstate it, it was a complete hassle and really upset him. Before you know a disabled child, you assume everyone will bend over backwards to help but it seems to be the opposite most of the time, as you probably know! Xxx

  5. Thurston is totally scrummy and being one honoured enough to hear him count his numbers and have one of those very lovely ‘squeezes’ 5 out of the 7 days in a week ,I want you to know that I know the statement is very hard….but I also know that he has come on sooooo soooo much since these forms were filled out, keep your chin up chicken, he’s a fab little boy…and I would like to add to the pro list he is the only one of his age who can find ’20’ and ‘fox’ in a box of magnetic letters put them together and then do the drum roll and intro to a 20th century fox film, pretty darn impressive and also the word ‘kermit’ now makes me smile everyday and is now a house hold name here for coat!!!! xxx

    1. I forgot about 20th century fox!! Kermit makes me laugh, I always ask him to put on Kermit and shoes now!!
      Thank you Amy, he loves you!! X

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